Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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