butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
