If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
