i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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