I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
