Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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