My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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