I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
