I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
