Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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