maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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