I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize