every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
