D3 body, D1 cock
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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