3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
