soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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