My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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