Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Randomize
