so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize