Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
