I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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