what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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