Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
