Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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