Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
