Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
