it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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