Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
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i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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