hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
