You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize