This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
