grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
It's just like the Real World with babies
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
