i just made my gag reflex go away.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
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