I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
