Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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