Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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