My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm bleeding and have questions
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
