Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize