Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize