omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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