Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
