Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
