She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
