never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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