from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
