sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
