I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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