i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
that's an acceptable place to lick
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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