Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
