I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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