The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
