sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
