Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
