Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
