My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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