why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize
