when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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