Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
