I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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