yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
