are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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