he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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