i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Come share oat with me in your robe
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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