i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
