Where did you get a picture of my penis
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
