Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
